MERRY CHRISTMAS FROM L. T. - His Annual Christmas Card |
(12/24/2002) |
Many of my writin' kind of friends, certainly Dave Peyton and Jack Cawthon, believe Charleston Daily Mail columnist L. T.
Anderson is among the best, ever, at his craft. He has been writing his column shortly after the great war, Civil that is. I must
admit, and I have have told him, I am a fan, fan, fan. I am enthralled, as only a fan can be, of sometimes being included in his annual Christmas Card, and my wish for him is simply his life span be extended, by divine intervetion, for another century. THE CARD FOR 2002 Listen, friends, if you would hear At the end of a rather dismal year A song with which I put aside The market's deadly downward slide And turn my eyes from prospects blue Toward festivals of a rosier hue And ask of Santa that he go To extraordinary lengths to show The generosity for which he's famed To deserving persons I will have named Before I end this Christmas plea, That peace be with us, you and me, With every gent, each fancy madam, George W. Bush and that guy Saddam; Back home, let's greet with embrace jolly The last grammarian, Withrow, Dolly; Hail Robert C. Byrd, the Prince of Pork, Randy Clifford and April York; God save John Schiefer, Leona Brown, Good Alan Sturm of Shepherdstown; For Forbeses Mary Jane and Bill Turkeys roast and glasses fill; May the season's delights fall unalloyed To Fayetteville's Fred Jesser the Thoid; May gift-laden elves at quickstep troop To the domicile of Sheila Stroup; Hark to the harp of the angels, herald, O Bob Weaver and Titus, Gerald, And heed ye, too, the joyful tune, Marty Bolyard of County Boone! Toast Larry LeRose and Huffman, John, Chuck Anziulewicz and Deutsch, Don; I sing of their virtues because I wanna -- Chambers Williams and Bilyeu, Donna; Count me at your call and beck, Ye true blue friends at Old Man Heck; Sing ye carols outside the house Of William Harris and Ann, his spouse; Salute John McGee and his wife Ruth -- Citizens of the Year, forsooth! Race on, Comet, Cupid, and Blitzen For D. Edward Bird and Leichner, Fritzen! On Prancer, on Dancer, on Sleepy and Doc And fill Ed Merrifield's Christmas sock, And also distribute holiday booty To Luther Wickline and Wilburn, Judy; On your rounds, Santa, do not tarry En route to the homes of Thomas, Mary, Jim Hill, Jim Wood, Kay Smith, Neale Clark, Eric Wagner, Jim Dobbs, and Ferrell, Mark, Nor forget as through the sky you fly George Hanna, Jim Houchins, Randy B. Fry Dick Kirtley, Jan Mitchell, and Stanley, John, Ellie Burka, Clint Hurt, and Ellis, Dawn; March triumphantly, to show your joy, Behind Tom, the little Drummond boy, Toward the winter's brightest star With Sandy Hamm and Frazer, D.R.; A vin d'honneur to Taylor, Brad, A similar toast to good Mark Sadd; And fling on the fire a new Yule log For John Himelrick and Bob the Clog; May your skies be bright and never sullen: Claude Skiles, Harvey Peyton, Joe Mullen; Let turkeys sizzle on the rack For Michael E. Salmons and Platter, Jack; Then dance and otherwise make merry For David W. Moody and Bradley, Terry; You may be sure I'll go to bat For these two Jacksons, Joe and Matt; And I also let good wishes go To Catlette, Bill, and Badgley, Joe; Please order a joyful Christmas Eve For Kissinger, Neil, and Plantz, Steve, Then rush out and purchase stores of Wreaths to hand upon the doors of Miami coaches, the Marshall fan, Each November also-ran, Hobart Fisher, Bolling, Tim, H. Ray Evans and Houchins, Jim; Produce a hearty ho ho ho For winner Shelley Capito; Be kind, I say, to geezer and youth (Not excluding Pork Chop Booth) Then with garlands deck the halls Of all who dwell where white stuff falls; Betty Hallanan, peace be thine Precisely at this point in time; Say you love them --- everyone do it -- To Rich Rodriguez and Bobby Pruett; Start the music and let's all revel in A Christmas romp with Harris, Evelyn; Bang with zest the glockenspiel, And tootle the flute with equal zeal For Larry Harless and Pfister, Phil, Julia Robinson, Wooton, Bill; Listen! Hear the tiny hoofs of Santa's reindeer on the roofs of Martha Wehrle, Beasley, Jerry, Jay Rockefeller, Mann, Perry, Harriet Nottingham, Marquetta Meeks, George Gannon, Yankee Peeks, B. Leftwich, the football whiz, Hank Marockie, wherever he is; But now the sun sinks in the west, So hasten I to wish the best To you, and you, and you, and you And say goodbye Two Oh Oh Two While you silently slip away, But first I ask you, let me say Have a happy Christmas Day! And now hear this -- it's my decree -- Greet with joy Two Oh Oh Three! -- L.T. Anderson 2002
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