(04/23/2001)
By Alvin Engelke

Old Thunderbolt has returned to his employment with the W. Va. DOH although he is wearing a mitten on one hand. He has not indicated if he would volunteer to work on other folks' linears.

Curtis "Cooter" Marks has accepted employment with Gas Search working on a service rig. There are lots of jobs available in the oil and gas industry although most require hard work. It is said that some folks don't much care for that, especially if a check can be obtained by just sitting around talking about unfairness.

White Pine oilman and county commissioner David E. Barr was doing some consulting work in Creston.

The Creston area received several snow squalls, some covering the ground and all vegetation. This was quite a change from the unseasonably warm weather. Speaking of warming, additional reports have now come out showing that much of the "global warming" hype was, at best, "politically correct junk science".

Snow squall on Pete's Run

Area residents have been feasting on morel mushrooms which are now up. They, like their French cousins the truffles, are some of the best gourmet delights to be found anywhere.

Red Horse Suckers have been running in the creeks. Some fry them and pick out the bones while others pressure cook them and then eat 'em bones and all. They are tasty food for fish lovers.

Bill Clinton and Albert Gore, Jr. might be out of office but one of their edicts just kicked in. All new washing machines must be front loaded and there is an additional cost of $240 per machine, no doubt to help folks feel the pain. One can only wonder why the federal government could regulate what kinds of washing machines one could purchase. Do wash boards have to be ergonomically redesigned?

The folks down at the mouth of Elk River have set a good example for us and, no doubt, made us grist for national joke mills. They passed Sunday hunting and a big tax on snuff and chewing tobacco and most of the session was done for the benefit of the gambling industry. One would wonder why some of the "important folks" are so down on tobacco which has been a West Virginia tradition since the 1700s. Maybe they have interests in what are called "designers".

Alvin took a little trip down Florida way, so the rest of the Creston News has been supplied by his trusty side-kick, Cap' Spock with contributions by "prominent" Crestonites

Alvin and Nancy Engelke were calling on her parents, Mr. and Mrs. Harold Martin, at their Florida residence this week.

Glen Arthur is still a patient in St. Joseph's hospital in Parkersburg, currently in room 418. As usual, Glen is reported to be in good spirits and understandably anxious to get home. He is said not to be too wild about cooling his jets as the M.D.'s prescribe, but has indicated that if need be, he could rely on his dog Toby and Elvis the rooster for company. The local folks wish him a speedy recovery, as the neighborhood jis' tain't the same without 'im.

Cap'n & Mrs. Spock and Dixie were among those calling on Uncle Pete and Aunt Verda Saturday afternoon. Uncle Pete had purchased some fine looking Hereford heifers earlier in the month. Aunt Verda fixed up a doggie bag for Dixie to take home.

Uncle Pete Bush with his new calves

Levi Ferrell is reported to be doing fine after an eye injury suffered whilst playing resulted in a four day stay at a Morgantown hospital.

Cap'n Spock was calling on Mr. and Mrs. Dennis Starcher and sons Ray (Ol' Dad) and Kenny, of the Joker sector, and Commissioner and Mrs. Robert J. Weaver, on the outskirts of Hur. Dennis, Ray, and Kenny were leveling the front porch which had settled considerably when they backed a pick-up truck off it that they had been repairing. Dennis also has started another restoration project, a ton truck in his garage. Spock was trying out his new found ability to "boldly go where no one" has had any reason to go before, since installing a set of 17-40 Ground Hawgs on the Starship Enterprise. Mudholes are reported to be rather scarce these days, at least those within a reasonable distance of assistance. The day was, however, well spent reminiscing days gone by.

Dennis Starcher in his garage working on his latest project

Mr. and Mrs. Kenny Carpenter, Jr., Harold and Reva Sturm were among those calling on Harriet Sturm, Jr. and Mary Brown, and Beelzebubba Brown. Rumor has it that Beelzebubba is now on the web.

It was reported that Jean-Claude Gendarme has been keeping the trail hot in the Joker/Hur/Lemuel's Run region in pursuit of young'uns on them "pesky" motorbikes and ATV's. Several of the youngsters report being cited, with an occasional wheeled conveyance being confiscated and impounded. The most amusing tale is the one about the riding mower found under some brush in the Lemuel's Run section. Someone evidently assumed it was stolen and reported it as such, when in fact it had been driven across private property and left there by its owner, who must have camouflaged it for obvious reasons when it ran out of gas. Using their Holmsian powers of deduction and investigation, the powers that be called in a roll-back and had it hauled off. The owner was reported to be somewhat disgruntled when he came back with some gas and his lawn mower was nowhere to be found.

JP and RP Marks were camping with Boy Scout Troop 30 near Elkins this weekend.


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