|Transcribed by Norma Knotts Shaffer from microfilm of the
Calhoun Chronicle dated 5/4/1909.
You can't always tell, says an exchange, what will happen. For
instance there is a story of a man who determined to commit suicide.
He went to the store and bought a rope, can of oil, a box of matches, a
dose of arsenic and a revolver. He went down to the river and pushed
the boat from the shore and waded out to where a limb hung over, saturated
his clothing with oil, lighted a match, set fire to his clothing, took
the arsenic, put the revolver to his temple, pushed the boat from under
him and pulled the trigger. But the bullet glanced and cut the rope
above him, and he fell kerflop into the river. The water put out
the fire, he got strangulated and coughed up the arsenic, and at the next
election was candidate for legislature on the reform ticket.