THE FROG POND - Red Neck Romance

(02/09/2002)

By Suzanne Mazer Stewart

With Valentine's Day this month, everyone's fancy turns to love. And so, I feel it is my duty to pass on a few pointers and helpful bits of advice to you, the reader. After all, this is one holiday where you can't afford to make a mistake.

Now, us country gals and our good ole boys have feelings just as deep and as tender as everyone else. We just have a tendency to express them differently. So as not to confuse those who may not be very familiar with our ways, here's a few things to keep in mind:

(1) Ladies, washing his truck, polishing his cowboy boots, wearing his "best" belt buckle, and leaving his baseball cap at home are all good indications of true and serious affection.

(2) Fellows, fixing you your favorite meal "just like Mama used to make it", watching the Daytona 500 with you, not yelling when you track mud all over the house, and being nice to your beer buddies on card night can all be taken as signs that you just may have won her heart.

(3) Let's talk for a moment about gifts. Flowers and candy, guys, are still your best bet. No matter how badly she may need that new trash can, now is probably NOT the best time to present her with it. And, if you do get her some little lacy, racy number, have a thought and give it to her in private, not in front of her parents or the kids. And remember, lock the dog out of the bedroom when you take the lacy racy for a spin, please.

(4)Gals, take his empty cartridge box with you to the sporting good department at Wal-Mart or wherever. Nothing disappoints a man more than a box of shells he can't use. And forget the silk boxers if you, like many folks in these parts this time of year, have flannel sheets on the bed. He'll generate so much static electricity, you'll give a whole new meaning to putting some spark back into your relationship.

Whether it's wine and roses, or Budweiser and beef jerky, remember to show your love and devotion to the ones you love. Besides, Valentine's Day only comes once a year. You can manage to be nice to them for 24 hours, now can't you?

Contact Suzanne MSZFROGGIE@aol.com


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