|Editors Note: After a long hiatus, former Hur Herald columnist, Suzanne Mazer Stewart has expressed a desire to continue her writings. We look forward to her musings and hope our readers enjoy them also. You can read more of Suzanne's series of "The Frog Pond" under † Columns|
THE FROG POND - Aspirations And Ambiguities
By Suzanne Mazer Stewart
The following definitions were taken from my trusty copy of ďWebsterís New American Dictionary,Ē copyright 1940.
Aspirations: desires, ambitions
Iíve given up making New Yearís Resolutions.
To resolve, according to Mr. Webster once again, is to have a constancy of purpose or action.
Now, if itís one thing lacking in my life itís constancy.
The kaleidoscope of minor crises and myriad of organized chaos that encompasses my single-parent-professional-writer-homeschooling-mom existence guarantees anything but constancy.
The only thing consistent in most of my days is breathing.
Oh, and the Miss K vs. Mr. T knock-down-drag-out argument over some meaningless issue.
Yes, dear Reader, their love-hate sibling relationship is still alive and well.
No, all circumstances point to resolutions ending in defeat, as resolve dissolves in a matter of weeks, if not days or even hours, a victim of the demands and disasters of living.
In light of this realization, Iíve come to the conclusion that aspirations are a much better choice for me to make.
I can aspire to a great many things. I can desire to clean my desk, to be a 6 foot tall, blonde, blue-eyed goddess or to become Mrs. Brad Pitt. (Itís not like heís actually married, yet, and he likes kids. Hey a girl can dream, canít she?)
If life gets in the way and I never see the top of the desk again, or I must settle for being 5í2Ē and red-headed, well, at least I tried.
I really wanted to. it just never came to be (Iím not giving up on Brad. Weíre talking desires here, after all).
In short, I can live with a few unrecognized aspirations. Failed resolutions are harder to get over, as they imply a weakness of character or personality flaw.
I guess you could say Iíve finally learned to deal with the ambiguities; the uncertainties of Life.
Iíve come to accept that things are never going to go exactly as weíve planned them.
God is going to occasionally get a good laugh from one or more of our many schemes.
Eventually, Brad and Angelina Ė NO, I refuse to resign myself to THAT!
I guess you could say I am once again growing content with my lot in life. Not complacent, mind you, just once again happily sipping lemonade from the lemons life hands me.
Iím even embracing the ambiguities once again, laughing at the absurdities, and finding the humor in our humanity. Itís been a long, bumpy journey back, but Iíve finally returned to where I was once upon a time.
What does all this mean for you, the faithful Reader?
Well, one of those aspirations for 2009 is to revive my column here at the Hur Herald, thanks to Bob and Dianne. At least once a month, more if youíre really lucky and Iím really blessed.
I hope to meet you here once again. Iíll be sharing my journey through the uncertainties of life, meeting both our defeats and our victories with a certain grace and dignity.
Probably on more than occasionally youíll find me laughing myself silly over the lack of said grace and dignity. If you canít laugh, why live, right? So, Iíll be here. Unless Brad comes calling, that is.
Then, all bets are off!