|Editors Note: After a long hiatus, former Hur Herald columnist, Suzanne Mazer Stewart has expressed a desire to continue her writings. We look forward to her musings and hope our readers enjoy them also. You can read more of Suzanne's series of "The Frog Pond" under Columns|
THE FROG POND - Aspirations And Ambiguities
By Suzanne Mazer Stewart
The following definitions were taken from my trusty copy of "Webster's New American Dictionary," copyright 1940.
Aspirations: desires, ambitions
I've given up making New Year's Resolutions.
To resolve, according to Mr. Webster once again, is to have a constancy of purpose or action.
Now, if it's one thing lacking in my life it's constancy.
The kaleidoscope of minor crises and myriad of organized chaos that encompasses my single-parent-professional-writer-homeschooling-mom existence guarantees anything but constancy.
The only thing consistent in most of my days is breathing.
Oh, and the Miss K vs. Mr. T knock-down-drag-out argument over some meaningless issue.
Yes, dear Reader, their love-hate sibling relationship is still alive and well.
No, all circumstances point to resolutions ending in defeat, as resolve dissolves in a matter of weeks, if not days or even hours, a victim of the demands and disasters of living.
In light of this realization, I've come to the conclusion that aspirations are a much better choice for me to make.
I can aspire to a great many things. I can desire to clean my desk, to be a 6 foot tall, blonde, blue-eyed goddess or to become Mrs. Brad Pitt. (It's not like he's actually married, yet, and he likes kids. Hey a girl can dream, can't she?)
If life gets in the way and I never see the top of the desk again, or I must settle for being 5'2" and red-headed, well, at least I tried.
I really wanted to. it just never came to be (I'm not giving up on Brad. We're talking desires here, after all).
In short, I can live with a few unrecognized aspirations. Failed resolutions are harder to get over, as they imply a weakness of character or personality flaw.
I guess you could say I've finally learned to deal with the ambiguities; the uncertainties of Life.
I've come to accept that things are never going to go exactly as we've planned them.
God is going to occasionally get a good laugh from one or more of our many schemes.
Eventually, Brad and Angelina - NO, I refuse to resign myself to THAT!
I guess you could say I am once again growing content with my lot in life. Not complacent, mind you, just once again happily sipping lemonade from the lemons life hands me.
I'm even embracing the ambiguities once again, laughing at the absurdities, and finding the humor in our humanity. It's been a long, bumpy journey back, but I've finally returned to where I was once upon a time.
What does all this mean for you, the faithful Reader?
Well, one of those aspirations for 2009 is to revive my column here at the Hur Herald, thanks to Bob and Dianne. At least once a month, more if you're really lucky and I'm really blessed.
I hope to meet you here once again. I'll be sharing my journey through the uncertainties of life, meeting both our defeats and our victories with a certain grace and dignity.
Probably on more than occasionally you'll find me laughing myself silly over the lack of said grace and dignity. If you can't laugh, why live, right? So, I'll be here. Unless Brad comes calling, that is.
Then, all bets are off!