OF PRINCIPALITIES AND POWERS - 3 More From Tony

(02/28/2006)

By Tony Russell

“Whether I Feel Like It Or Not”

HUNTERS SCOFF AT
CHENEY ADVISOR’S CLAIMS

Big Springs, Feb. 14 -

In a survey taken three days after Vice President Dick Cheney’s hunting accident, bird hunters nationwide have scoffed at claims by Cheney advisor Mary Matalin that the Vice President “was not careless or incautious and did not violate any of the rules” when he shot another hunter in his party on a Texas ranch.

“First off,” said Bud Reaser, an Arizona real estate developer, “Harry Whittington may be a tough old bird, but it’s a cardinal rule that you don’t wound a bird and then just keep on hunting. You find the crippled bird and wring its neck.”

Cheney aides insist, however, that the Vice President and a pair of Secret Service men accompanying him spent thirty minutes trampling over every inch of terrain within a fifty-yard radius of where Whittington went down, but were unable to locate the wounded lawyer. “This was rough, brushy cover,” said one of the Secret Service agents. “A crippled old bird like that can conceal himself in spots you wouldn’t believe—just the slightest dip in the ground.”

Earl Nutter, a partner in an Ohio accounting firm, also found fault with the Vice President’s conduct. Said Nutter, “Cheney and his friends failed to discharge a primary obligation of hunters—to dispose of their empties properly. They should have picked up the aluminum cans from their empty six-packs, crushed them, and saved them for recycling. They also should have segregated the beer cans and the empty whiskey bottles, as recycling centers refuse to take mixed materials like that.” ...

... Read the rest at   readtonyrussell.blogspot.com

“Executive Privilege”

Given the current polarization of politics in the United States, it’s no longer possible to offer an analysis of issues that satisfies both Bush administration backers and the administration’s critics. Consequently, Of Principalities and Powers—following the lead of other media—has been forced to run competing versions of events in order to satisfy readers from both camps. Today’s topic is “executive privilege.”

Administration’s Scenario

Mr. Bush: “What have you got for me on those e-mails the special prosecutor is asking for, Al?”

Attorney General Alberto Gonzales: “Nothing has changed, sir. I would love to turn them over to Mr. Fitzgerald, but we simply can’t. It’s a matter of executive privilege.”

Mr. Bush: “Surely we can find some way around that, Al. Those e-mails would prove conclusively that Vice President Cheney, his top aides, and other officials here in the White House had nothing to do with leaking Valerie Plame’s secret identity as a CIA operative.”

AG: “I know they would, sir, but our hands are tied.”

Mr. Bush: “Doggone it, Al, we have nothing to hide. We’ve got to cooperate with the special prosecutor any way we can. I’m firmly committed to running the most open and accessible presidency possible.”

AG: “Of course you are, sir, and I wish there was a way around this executive privilege thing.”

Mr. Bush: “Well somebody leaked her identity. That information didn’t just materialize out of thin air. Can’t we find out who did it?” ...

... Read the rest at   readtonyrussell.blogspot.com

“Dem Leaders Jubilant”

DEM LEADERS JUBILANT AFTER FORCING HACKETT FROM RACE

Washington, Feb. 15 –

Party leaders were jubilant this evening when Cincinnati attorney Paul Hackett announced he was withdrawing from the Democratic primary for the Ohio senatorial race. Hackett, a major in the Marine Corps Reserve who just recently returned from a tour of duty in Iraq, had drawn enormous grassroots support from voters across the political spectrum. Polls showed him defeating incumbent Republican Michael DeWine by a comfortable margin, a prospect that clearly frightened Democratic Party elders.

Hackett first drew national attention when he ran an unexpectedly strong campaign against Republican Jean Schmidt in the heavily gerrymandered 2nd District in Ohio—one of the most conservative areas in the United States—losing by only three and a half percentage points in what had been expected to be a Republican shoo-in.

During that campaign, Hackett had blasted Republican leaders as “bullies” who liked to talk tough, but got offended when somebody swung back. He described President Bush and Vice-President Cheney as “chicken hawks,” and called Bush’s famous “Bring ‘em on” comment to Iraqi insurgents as “the most incredibly stupid comment I’ve ever heard a president of the United States make. He cheered on the enemy.” ...

... Read the rest at   readtonyrussell.blogspot.com


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