By Tony Russell|
Maybe you’re like me, and find yourself confused after watching political talk shows on TV. In the kind of balanced, civilized debate you’d expect in an advanced democratic society, carefully-selected department store mannequins representing the liberal perspective square off against badly-disguised attack dogs representing the conservative point of view. (“Karl Rove” is actually a Rottweiler; the name is a corrupted version of the command “Kill, Rover.”) While you’re waiting for the debate to be interrupted by beer commercials full of beautiful girls who love playing in the mud and drinking light beers—wait a minute, that’s Sunday afternoons—these debaters keep interrupting each other right in the middle of their top-of-the-lungs, ten-minute-long abusive rants. How rude can you get?
The result is that, after doing my public duty to understand these issues of grave national importance, I now understand how people can actually read People magazine instead or switch channels and watch a bowling match. What I don’t understand is whatever topic these guys were using to practice their Public Yelling. You just have to figure it out yourself, if the media won’t help. Thank God for the Internet, which has enabled me to research ancient history, almost back before the memory of humankind—say five or six years ago—without the physical stress of turning the pages of a book.
So let’s begin with an easy topic, Gulf War II—originally given the snappy name Operation Iraqi Liberation (OIL), but later changed to Operation Iraqi Freedom (OIF. OIF?) —and review the opposing positions taken by liberals and conservatives
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